One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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