She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i believe in u and ur pee
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