is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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