well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
