its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
