Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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