I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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