Where did you get a picture of my penis
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize