Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
