i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
