It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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