Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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