everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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