dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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