You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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