Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
