I think i peed on brittanys purse
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
