I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
