dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
