I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
