shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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