i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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