A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
