discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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