So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
