You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
