Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
