i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize