i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
