Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
