She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i think i just lost a toe
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
