420 ftw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize