dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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