HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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