There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
