Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
