I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
