I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
