Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
