I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
