i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
