you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
