so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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