When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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