hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You're so nebulous sometimes
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
