They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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