Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
