I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
