Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
These tits shall not be calmed
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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