First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
