I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
