She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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