you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Randomize
