I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Two words: nipple clamps
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