i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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