Non-Jews are for practice
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
