I think I am morally bankrupt
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
