yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
