new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
