I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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