After last night, I could never be a politician.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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