Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
