its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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