You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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