Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
