Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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