It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
